cut me open
kill me dead
get these rhythms
out of my head
hush the screams
kill the silence 
get rid of all the violence
rage is growing thick
kill me now do it quick
echo my actions
echo my thoughts
the pain
is growing hot
hope that i die
if it doesn't end now
you'll know why

watching the world change
everything that was will never be 
a stupid cause
with a dreaded effect
forever hated by life
nothing left to want
nothing left to leave
everything keeps getting worse
just plain sick of it
everything gets better
the shit gets worse
and it will keep getting worse
until you take away the chance to let it get worse

Fallen Hard For You

i've slipped down your rabbit whole
i've fallen i've smallened
behind you looking glass
you've won darling
but as far as i can tell
love has been consumed
i'm lost in your forest
of slithy toves
and momeraths
and jabberwocky lips
shall you slay thine jabberwock
awaken shall i
before the morn
to pull you back to me
to play the single card of the wicked red queen
to run from life
mind slowly fading as if taken by the hatter of mad
as if under the wing of the hookah smoking caterpillar
telling thou to find oneself
yet so easy
yet so hard
to defeat the precious jabberwock
to settle a long time feud
of two selves fighting to become one
it started with a simple root
sticking up from the ground
and a fuzzy white rabbit just wanting to be loved

An Ode to Halloween

***a little late for halloween***


I am the darkness under your bed,
I am the voices inside your head,
I am the darkness in your soul,
I am the head in the candy bowl,
I am the shadow creeping ‘cross your floor,
I am “that man” you saw in the store,
I am the shadows dancing on the wall,
In the attic is where I crawl,
I am the chills that tickle your back,
I am groans and creeks and cracks,
I am the skeleton hung from the door,
I am the rat that scurries cross the floor,
I am the clouds that cover the moon,
I am the rock you trip over in the gloom,
I am the cat the runs in front of your car,
I am the light that’s not the stars.
I am the car you saw in the town,
Crushed, wheels spinning, up-side down,
I am the noises you here in the night,
I am icy fingers, you scream in fright.
I am the dead animal you saw on the highway,
I am the rain that runs down your driveway,
I am the lies that haunt your heart,
I am the fright that has yet to start.
I am your bruises, black and blue,
And I am the evil inside of you.

tired of trying
sick of crying
i may be smiling
but inside 
i'm dying

you left me with a knife through my heart
and a gun to my head just waiting to pull the trigger

i have the sudden urge to cry
and i'm pretty sure you're the reason why
before you i never shed a single tear
even with all the reasons there were
you were always by side to make me forget
but now you've forgotten me
with a silent unexplained good bye
if only you really knew
that most of these poems are simply about you

What's In The Closet

bump thump rattle
oh somethings in the closet
a thump a rattle and a bump
taking small steps toward it
what you could be in there
halfway there
the thumps grew louder
far off there's a scream
closer now
just as you walk up
the door swings open
out jumps the monster
ready to eat you raw

What You've Never Seen

darkness falls
beneath you bed
all is silent
the moon is dead
creatures rise
with a thirst for blood
climbing trudging
through the mud
the scent of death
is in the air
and on you neck
rises hair
the graves have cracked
the werewolves howl
sounds of eery yowls
they're coming closer
slashing prowling
biting gnawing 
terrifying sounds of the growling
your end is swift
that;s all you've seen
of what happens on this night
this halloween

Coming Fast

halloween is coming fast
with all it's ghoulish fun and wrath
keep in mind that all
of the creatures great or small
are very friendly my dearest friend
they'll scathe you on you holy wings
cook you up or eat you raw
you will be the end of trick or treat

Haunted House

i hold my breathe  as i keep moving  no longer wanting to stay
then the laughter wicked laughter maniacal to it's core
then a howl from somewhere way too close and the slamming of the door
i want ot turn and find a way out but i know it is not a choice
then i hear the sound of a slow song sung by a lone ghostly voice
thunder rolls as lightning flashes with the screeching of one feral cat
i swear i hear the distinct flapping noises coming from the wings of a bat
my heart is racing i'm scared to death but sadly it has only begun
i bump into something and fall to the ground  a zombie like moaning is the next frightening sound
i want to get away and so i start to crawl but then i hear the starting of a deadly chainsaw
now i am all alone and nearly petrified
that's when i think, i should have chosen the haunted hayride

Beautiful Death

the shimmering surface
that glitters in such beauty
that hides death all too well
staring past the evil reflection
past a black veil
from which gazes an evil glow
where ghosts flow to and fro
the skeletons bones comming from the ground
will cling to you tight
they will never let go
slithering and winding
caught you in binding
as you join them down below
in your knew life
so pretty
but yet
so deadly undead

Halloween Death

haloween death
goblins and ghouls
empty soulds
the clock strikes mignight
down she goes
i grab her heart
rip it in two
stay close to others
or i'll get you too
jack-o-lanterns
witches brooms
very close
your waiting doom
freaky clowns
zombie night
when i catch you
you'll scream in fright
demons fire
crimson bride
our evil laugh
rings though the night
the graveyard watchers
there dark red eyes
watch her closely
as she walks by
the walking dead
will now appear
into to the night
without a trace
we'll leave your town
to go back home
into the ground 

Fright Night

footsteps crunch on the gravel driveway
voices echo in the wind
children echo out in delight
for it is slowly becoming fright night
werewolves howl up at the moon
witches cackle from there brooms
the cold wind whistles down the old main street
then comes the thud of undead feet
here comes the scritch - scratch at the window
the spooky creaking of a gate
here comes the tapping of the branches
moaning spooks in the graveyard- is it to late to escape?
this night is noisy crowded and full of creeps
behind you! for tonight no monster sleeps
vampires on a search for blood
monsters awaiting breathe on every corner
no one is safe until the morning
for it will all disappear with the dawning


***and so starts my halloween poetry***

Hurt

they left me
one by one
cheated and burnt
they left me all alone
in this sad world
so young
til' you came along
picked me up off my feet
made everything better
you helped me through the sadness
even though i cried and cried my silent tears
you said you would always be there
all of my good memories include you
you said i was special
you said i was important to you
you said i was forever yours
but why is it you treat her just the same
you didn't mean any of it
why would you do that
you know what it was like
you should have know that was not what i needed
it hurt me more than it should of
but all i could do was smile
even though i was filled with misery
maybe i don't like you anymore
maybe we don't talk
maybe we don't see each other
but the feelings are growing
but now i am just unwanted by you
i have been completely forgotten
i fell for you but you weren't there to catch me





***not my best work***

Confused

here i am
writing about you
again
so confused
i love you
do you love me to?
do you even like me anymore?
or am i just that one girl you use to know
that one girl who use to be everything to you
or did you just fake that to
do you think about me?
i think about you
it hurts when i do
but
i still love to think about you
through all the pain you've caused
you're one of the only people who makes me smile now
without trying i mean
well
this is me
i love you
and i'm really confused

no amount of guilt can change the past
no amount of worry can change the future

Blue Eyes *song*

i miss your blue eyes
how much you loved me
the way you made me smile
your arms around me
baby
making everything all right
you've got a hold of my heart

but i never told you
how i really feel
but you've got to know
before the end
the end
the end of me
and now
you've got me in this place

i miss you
every little thing you do
i need you need you now
and i always will
you just might just might be the death of me
but i can't have you

i see your blue eyes
every time i close mine
it makes it hard to breathe
i just can't stop
can't stop it
anymore

the sweet surrender
a feeling of fantasy
 
you just won't leave my head
no matter what i do
i just can't
let go
of
you

but i never told you
how i really feel
but you have to know
before the end
the end
the end of me
and now
you've got me in this place

i miss you
every little thing you do
i need you now
i always will
you just might be the death of me
but i can't have you

no
i
can't
have you
and i don't know what to do
anymore
i miss you
every little thing you do
i need you
yes i need you
right
now

She Weeps

earths cry
heavens reply
burning through my mind
these flashes of life
and love so thick
it's a crying shame
the way we stick
to our methods of war
as if to reach a common goal
to see how long our hate and fear
could go on
each generation spawn
a perfect race proclaimed by the leader
who is really just a breeder
a proud ignorance while the wise are ignored
still others scared by the statement
the good of the few out way the needs of many
has that become true
it was meant in all honesty
something forsaken today
a planet so burned
by the black of evil
merely a small part of the foreseeable
so long ago
a world so opposite
virgin it's bliss
that is why she weeps
a world destroyed by creeps
only sought their own advantages
with that thought i bid you ado
the very few who choose to obey the law
laid oh so long ago
 for now
she will never be so pure as long as we grow
harsh and cruel
turning into despise
creatures of evil
killers of compassion
suckers of the soul
full of poison and spite
no better than the creatures of the night
our own nightmare
we have become

Looking

walking the crowded street
something missing is what i feel
finding you is an impossible feat
wishing any sort of  relationship to be real
to you i would run
reaching out longing for you
in my dreams
you're as real as the morning dew
in glorious beams
of the setting sun
when we've finally met
planets and stars align
no need to fret
the world shall be yours and mine
so it is you i seek
i know one day i will find
be it five years or next week
you will always be on my mind   

One Little Gun Shot

the sun was to bright
she hid in her room
in her dark place
she held a gun
closed her eyes
held her breathe
gripping a gun
awaiting her death
fingers placed
in the perfect position
gun well loaded
full of ammunition
raising the gun
to her head
she ran from life
pulled the trigger
fired the shot
dropping the gun
barrel still hot

They Just Won't Stop

each time i see your face
each time i hear your name
i am caused an eternal pain
yet
cursed to suffer in vain
each small memory
bringing waves of hurt
sucking salt water
clinging to the burns
of my every wrong turn

they taunt and they tease
not knowing how much it hurts
to hear them say your name
time and time again

they just won't stop
they just don't know

that your name
stings like the winter wind
harboring the pain
of the sharpest knife

each time i think of you
a cold hard blade
is pushed straight through my heart
brightening the realization
that i am scared
of what you do to me

Power

after life
after death
stop the circle
hold your breathe
the world around me
frozen in fear
what keeps me going
is always near
my own ball of light
a rage shinning so bright
melts the inside
puts power in me
make me want to
fight my own fight
stay forever in the light
and have hope to live my life

Help Me?

i've tried all the doors
the windows just pinched my fingers
i need a new way out
would you care to help me?

She is ... He is

the one in the back of the classroom
daydreaming of time better spent
on mountain tops of silence

the one texting in class
laughing with his friends
all the ones on the football team

the girl with the snake bitten lips
six inch wedged heels
standing out of place

 the guy wearing the name brand clothes
and football jacket
a high school celebrity

the girl you laughed at today
behind her back to break
 as she pretends not to care

who pushes people around
all high and mighty in the halls
living in a dream

listening to death metal
hoping to drown out the sound
screaming out the lyrics in despair

listening to the sound of his fans
as they call out his name
drinking in the fascination

all dressed in black
to cover up the bruises
looking for a way out

the brightest shinning star
to fill the school
looking like a celestial freak

sitting in the cemetery
spelling her name
with words of defeat

searching for a girl
who can hold the dark to his light
walking on the empty street

crying for freedom
someone to hold her close
little does she know

the one to hold her close
and protect her
form the demons in her dreams

 

Scars

here i am again i've never had it this way before
walking down the same empty corridor
every broken past is returning to me
i fucked up bad, i just couldn't see
how i should have stopped hurting and left it alone
how many times i have cut myself to the bone
now its all gone and i can't deal
with all the scars that will never heal 

Razor Kiss

i've never had it this way before
starting out perfect only to become more
all the little thing's i can't forget
every moment i'll forever regret
the way it used to be such a blur
the cold ending gone forever in a frozen burr
i've never had the reason to live like this
living in a broken state of bliss
together we stand divided we fall
he is the crutch that is killing me
i can no longer go on alone
my lovely razor kiss
harder and harder when i fall face down
i feel like i'm going to drown
the feeling is fleeting and flying
i sit here slowly dyeing
the scars are all i have to show
i hate them they make me feel so low
the deadly game that pulls me to them
there they wait for me to condemn
together we stand divided we fall
he is the crutch that is killing me
i can no longer go on alone
my lovely razor kiss
gone gone gone my dreams are to far gone
with all the crimson lines i've drawn
i can't go back all by myself
don't follow me find yourself
no one will take me back
i've broken myself all is black
i can see a hope a broken shaft of light
a tiny silver but gleaming bright
together we stand divided we fall
he is the crutch that is killing me
i can no longer go on alone
my lovely razor kiss

Why

why do i live
when there is nothing to live for
why do i insist on breathing
when the air is polluted and bitter
why do i wake up in the morning
when there is no one to wake up to
why do i dream
when they crash and burn in nightmares
why do i laugh
when the joy is temporary
why do i scream
when no one cares
in this world something is nothing
no one can make you happy
it seems that no one cares
every one judged by another
my feelings have all but gone in the years
now its just a whole consumed in fake happiness
my love hasn't mattered
my dreams won't come true
but all my life
i will still search
for the good in you

Dimmed Shadow

a dimmed shadow closes life's door
a drink of reddened wine quenched the floor
the saddened somber that i sleep
sending me down six feet deep
my soul still aches my heart still breaks
my lungs the last breath they take
suddenly my life goes dim
i can no longer see him
he who took my heart from me
with this knife i am set free

Let Go

quiet waves of tears
filled with never ending fears
always on the edge
hanging from the ledge
i could let go
nothing to love for
nothing to live for
except this hate
that slowly stole my fate
maybe i can find a dream
that on i can lean
until i fall from this stone cold world
that seems to hold me here
the keep me from moving on
so scared to be alone
please let it be shown
in some simple way
so that i may
leave this prison
in loving peace

Why Won't You See

unheard
unspoked
always hoping for something
that will never be
i break into a million peices
you're so close
but yet
so far
why won't you see
these bloody tears
unheard screams
because i am alone
afraid
i know what can happen
a monster buried in all i see
creating so many problems for me
deepening all the wounds
adding to the forbidden want
to leave and never return
i only add to the problems
why won't you hear my cries

My Reason

the stainless steel blade
no longer stainless
but
covered in scarlet blood
along with the invisible tears
for the fear has grown
taken control
am i even considered human anymore
will i ever escape
this longing ache
slithering through my bones
i just want to let go
but
you still remain
a smile on your face
not realizing
how much you were my reason
to live
buy yet
to die

Someone

maybe if she adds more black to her eyes
people will see how she hides behind her lies
she sits alone and watches people never blinking
while they all judge her without thinking
why does she try so hard to be unhappy
they don't know what she's been through
but all she really needs is a friend
someone she can be with until the very end
they don't know her they have no right
they don't know why she can't sleep at night
but all she needs is a reason to smile
god sure knows it's been a while
maybe is she wears more black and gray
she can hide away in the shadows of the day
the broken pieces of her heart no longer fit
and no one seems to give a shit
she has let herself disappear like a ghost
she is afraid to ask for what she needs most
some one to save her life
to relieve her from the strife
a place she can be the person buried inside
they don't know her they have no right
they don't know why she can't sleep at night
but all she needs is a reason to smile
god sure knows it's been a while
she's down on her knees
 praying someone will see
someone will see her
be her savior
someone to ease the pain
someone who cares enough to know her name
someone who will look her in the eye and tell her everything is okay
someone who will swoop in and save the day
she found her savior
he said all the right things made everything okay
they don't know you don't listen to the lies
you don't have to end it all
not tonight not ever
i can be your reason to smile
just believe in me and stay awhile

It Hurts

it hurts
every time you don't believe
for all i've ever told you
is only truth
i am forced
to sit back and watch
as my life crumbles away
with no way to save it
only one has the power
but fate does not wish it
watching
as everything goes wrong
to speak falsely of you
would be committing suicide 
i can not live without you
withdrawals are hard to deal with
did you simply assume
put in it not a single thought
you knew me to well
not to think
that you have committed murder

Live

the trouble is mixing
my feelings are dim
i feel like i'm losing time
precious time
can you help me
lose this feeling
can you help me
lose control
i need your help
i need to live
live
my heart is beating
my heart is taking control
can you help me
lose this feeling
can you help me
lose control
i need your help
i need to live
live
can you help me
to find the path
i need you to help me
i need to get there
i need to find the end
so i can decide
not to life my life
can you help me
lose this feeling
can you help me
lose control 

i need your help
i need to live
i need to live

Troublesome Storm

Darkness slowly set around her
Rain pounded hard and loud
The ground below her shook as thunder rolled across the sky
There was a flash of lightening bright enough to make the night day
The rain soaked her clothes
Her troubles slowly slid down her cheeks with the rain
The space they left quickly filled with memories
The troubles reflected her deep sorrow
Her vision blurred as she walked towards the crashing waves
Invisible waves
Threatening to pull her under
Threatening to pull her down into oblivion
Troubles quickened down her innocent face
The wind blew the hood of her jacket from her head
An almost black mess of curls blew around her face
Her chocolate eyes once shining were now blacker than night
Full of unknown sorrow and pain
The waves embraced her in cold
Numbing her tired body
The wind is picking up and is now in an uncontrollable fury
Her clothes stick to her soaked body as she continues her walk in despair
Her vision is starting to cloud between the troubles on her face and the powerful rain coming at her in all directions
She lets out a silent scream and sank into the mud
Her mind drifts to better things as it fades
Sleep has relieved her of sorrow
She smiles
The thunder paused as did the lightening to see to girl smile
Something not familiar to them, or her
She smiled up at them, only for a moment then her troubles returned
She yearned for the moment of peace she had with the storm
The invisible waves drowned her in oblivion
Truth will know how she suffered her unknown pain
That the storms relieved her from hiding